Black, white, grey and colours

In class this week we had a time to creatively reflect on what we had been learning. The concept that I focused on was that life isn’t black and white and that there are often grey areas that we don’t have a absolute on what is right and wrong. I started off by writing the following and then painting the picture below. I’m not much of an artist, but I wanted to try anyway since that was the point of the exercise. 

It's easier to live in black and white, because it's easier to know what to do. What is right and wrong? If we lived in black and white though, there would be no colour. Life would be one dimensional. We need the grey to bring in the second and third dimensions. But then what is colour? It is not black, white or grey. It is life. It brings life. It expresses beauty and creativity and inspiration. It brings fullness to the picture and highlights things that would have otherwise been overlooked.

Colours represent God's promise, His faithfulness, His trustworthiness, His love and compassion. If we force everything to be black and white we lose so much of God's character. In fact, we lose what makes God who He is and makes Him someone that I would want to be in relationship with. We make God one dimensional too. We take away His multifaceted nature, His depth and incredibly beauty. We lose the dimension of His love and grace, His mercy. But when we allow God to paint His rainbow of life and promise back into our lives, colours are brought out from even the darkest shadows as His light allows them to reflect His goodness and His nature.

Click here to listen to my latest song!

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Aeidan

I wrote this for my third song assignment in the School of Worship that I'm doing. The restrictions were that I needed to be a love song and a story song. I'm not really sure where this came from, other than it had to have come from God because I was so surprised by what came out of me. Honestly, I cried quite a few times while writing it. 

It was inspired by the testimony of my friend Josh. But some of the emotion comes from walking with some of my other friends who have gone through similar circumstances. I hope you are moved by it. I would really appreciate feedback and comments if you have any. Today we presented out third songs to our class and I recorded my band playing this song. I hope to record it in studio in two weeks time. 

Verse 1:

He heard the news, can it be true?

He's just turned eighteen and she's sixteen

At first fear is overwhelming 

But then his heart starts yearning

Maybe he can be to this child

The father he never had

He can lovingly provide 

Be a perfect dad

Hope grows, life shows 

But his future changes with signs of danger

Chorus 1:

So he sings 

"Son I'm here I won't give up on you 

My love for you is forever true

Son I'm here I won't give up on you 

My love for you is forever true"

Verse 2:

Heartache, heartbreak 

At those awful words 

A life song so beautiful 

Never will be heard

Too soon he enters the world

But never utters a cry

Cradled in his daddy's arms 

Their hello is their goodbye

Hope fades, life wanes 

The future's bleak, incomplete

Chorus 2:

Still he sings 

"Son I'm here I won't give up on you 

My love for you is forever true 

I lay you in the arms of God

You'll be safe there, but     

Goodbye is still so hard"

Outro:

"Aeidan I love you so much, 
every day my heart aches 

I didn't get to watch you grow 
or take your first steps

How I long for that day 
when we'll meet face to face 

I'll run to you, arms open wide 
for our eternal embrace"

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Psalm 88

This is the final Psalm that I paraphrased for class this week. Earlier in the week I did Psalm 3 and Psalm 87. This is a very unique Psalm because it is one of the only ones that does not end on a 'happy' note, or with some sort of resolution. The Psalmist was going through a rough time in his faith, as evident through the kind of questions that he asks. I enjoyed putting this into my own words because it helped me identify the emotions that people who are really struggling in their faith at the moment are asking.

Psalm 88 - Various verses - Paraphrased by Sarah Palser

vs 1 God, I know that you are the only one who can save me and so I cry out to all the time. I never stop.
vs 2 Please listen! Please hear the cry of my heart!
vs 3 I can't take this anymore. It feels like my life is over. It's just too much, I can't handle it.
vs 6 Why God? I feel like you've put me in a tiny hole somewhere, too far away and hidden for you to be able to hear my cries.
vs 7 You seem so angry with me, it washes over me again and again like mighty waves, tearing me to pieces.
vs 8 You've taken everything that I hold dear away from me. I have nothing left. Everyone hates me. I'm stuck. I can't get out.
vs 9 My eyes ache from crying so much. I'm crying out to you, doing everything I can to get your attention. Where are you?
vs 13 Even though you don't seem to answer, still I cry to you for help. I have nowhere else to turn.
vs 14 But it still feels like you've rejected me. Don't you hear my prayers at all?

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Psalm 3

Yesterday I posted a paraphrased version of Psalm 87 that I wrote for a class assignment. Here is my next one that we were assigned to do, Psalm 3, that I wrote inspired by what God highlighted for me while I read it.

Psalm 3

vs 1 God, I feel like the whole world is against me. It seems like people are out to get me wherever I go.
vs 2 Everyone around me thinks You won't come through for me
vs 3 But I know You better than that, I trust You. You are my protection and my glory, You are the one allows me to lift my head high in confidence and full assurance of faith.
vs 4 All I have to do is open my mouth and speak and You hear me. Your ears are ever attentive to my cries for help.
vs 5 You watch over me through the day and night. The reason I wake up in the morning is because You are the one who sustains my body and renews my strength.
vs 6 Because of that, I have no need to be afraid, even when the world is against me, pressing me down on every side.
vs 7 I just cry "Help God! Come and rescue me! " And I know that You have power over every single one of my enemies. Make them incapable of hurting me anymore.
vs 8 I know that my deliverance is in You and that you shower me with blessings. I love You, Thank You.

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Psalm 87

We are learning about Spiritual Authority in class this week and one of our assignments was to take a Psalm each day and paraphrase it with emphasis on the things that God highlights to us. Here is my version of Psalm 87.

Psalm 87 - paraphrased by Sarah Palser

vs 1 God has founded me on His holy mountain, I am secure and safe in His love, never to be shaken.
vs 2 He loves when I walk in unity and love, when I seek and share wisdom and draw people from all walks of life to himself. He loves to live with me in every moment of the day so much more than when I try to live for Him without including Him in everything.
vs 3 God speaks good things about me, His beloved.
vs 4 He knows my name, counting me among his children and proudly says "This one is mine!"
vs 5 God will make it known to the world that I am His, He claims me as His own, letting others know that is He who establishes me.
vs 6 He writes my name in His book, so that no one can question where I belong.
vs 7 In response I will sing to God, "You alone are my fountain, the source of my life that refreshes my soul."

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How to Bless Your Heart

A Song By Sarah Palser

These are the lyrics of the second song that I wrote for my School of Worship (SOW) course that I am taking at YWAM Denver. The assignment was to write a song of any genre that was inspired by a proverb in the book of Proverbs. My inspiration comes from Proverbs 21:3 which says, "To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice." 

This verse was very impactful to me during the Community Development for Missions (CDFM) course that I took here at YWAM Denver from January to March. Quite a few times we discussed what it means that God considers “obedience better than sacrifice”. This song was written in a meditation style that we learnt about in the first week of teaching of SOW, where you have a dialog with God about his Word and in response to what he says in his Word. So this song sort of reflects the journey that God has taken me on over the past 4 months.

This is a photo of my friend Mats and I preparing to play our flute together on the streets of Downtown Denver

Verse 1:
How I long to bless your heart
With my soul, mind and voice
But what do I have to offer you
That will make your heart rejoice?

I want to love you in such a way
That will let you really know
The extent of my devotion to you
But how can I make it show?

Chorus:
I'll bless your heart above all else
If I do what's just, do what's right
To you O Lord, my obedience
Means more than a sacrifice

Verse 2:
How can I know what's good and just
So I can do what's right?
I need to really know you Lord
To do what's pleasing in your sight 

And so I choose to seek your face
I choose to walk in your ways.
I resolve to go forever deeper
With you, all my days 

Bridge:
So I come
I no longer hide
Lay my cares aside
My worries and my pride

I come
You are all I see
It's only you and me
True intimacy


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Stepping into God's Anointing

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time flies! It’s already the start of my 5^th week in School of Worship (SOW). I have so much that I could write, because God has been doing so much in my life and stretching me and growing me and challenging me in so many ways, but I’ll try keep this brief. I will try to write extra posts about some of the other things I’m not able to go into detail about in this update. If there’s anything particular that you’d like to hear more about, please let me know and I’ll be sure to include it in a future update.

This is my band :)

In my last newsletter I mentioned that I have had several prophecies spoken over my life with regards God’s anointing on me for worship. I said that I didn’t feel like I had stepped into them yet and that I was hoping I would be able to during this school. Well, I definitely feel like I am! On the second Wednesday evening of the school I assisted my friend Bronson in leading a time of soaking worship for 1.5 hours. It was a really amazing time of being in God’s presence. I stepped out and sang songs in the Spirit and was playing only for Jesus, not worrying much about the other people in the room. In that moment when I started to sing out the prophetic words that God put on my heart I felt His pleasure wash over me and my hands started to tingle and ‘burn’ with the same feeling that I felt when I first felt His anointing rest on me. It was so amazing to get such a tangible feeling of His delight and His affirmation of me taking a step in the direction in which He has called me. And I know that is only the beginning of what He has in store for me. There have been a number of other times where I’ve stepped out in obedience and in love and I’ve felt His delight on me.

Bonding time in Boulder

I really feel that I am exactly where God wants me to be and it’s such an amazing feeling! While it isn’t the easiest thing to be away from Paul during this season, I couldn’t think of a better season of my life to be able to wholeheartedly seek the Lord with no distractions. He is teaching me so much about intimacy with Him and being able to find my satisfaction and fulfilment in Him alone. I feel like God is drawing me into a much deeper place of intimacy with Him and helping me grow in my character and integrity as a result. In class last week we learnt about the Tabernacle of David and I was blown away by the life of David, looking at it from a completely new light. God brought new revelation to me about the importance of David’s intimacy with God which allowed him to live in a freedom that most of the people in the Old Testament never got to experience, because he understood God’s grace and mercy, and knew Him so deeply. It’s so freeing to know that while I do have a lot of responsibilities as a worship leader; my primary focus need only be on intimacy with God. The overflow of that will be a life that pleases God in every way, including in my leadership.

While this school is probably fuller than my Community Development course time wise, it feels so much less stressful to me! I absolutely love all the hours each day where I’m able to practice, play and write music/poetry. Our two hour band sessions each afternoon are definitely one of my highlights. I realised that I have never before had a season of my life where I was surrounded by so many creative people. It’s so inspiring being around these people and they bring out the creative side in me that I realise I have suppressed for a lot of my life. I love the freedom to express myself in new ways and being challenged to step out of my comfort zone and try new things too.

These are the girls from my band: me, Brooklyn and Maddy

Today our second official song is due. The specifications for our first song was that it needed to be a corporate worship song that could fit in at our home church and represent the place that we wanted our church to be in a few years time. I put the lyrics on my blog here. The inspiration for our second song needed to come from Proverbs. I chose Proverbs 21:3 and wrote a meditation to God about my desire to bless His heart and how I could do that in light of what He says in that Proverb. I’ll put the lyrics up here soon. During Week 3 our teaching was specifically on Songwriting and during that week we were given a number of writing assignments. I turned one of the poems I wrote into a short song and I put a recording of it on this post and on YouTube. I also have a few other poems and reflections on my blog that you can read if you’re interested.

Another huge learning area for me is in my skills on various musical instruments. During the first week God asked me to surrender my entitlement to play the piano to Him. I have been playing the piano for the past 15 years and I thought that I was coming here mainly to play piano. But in fact I’ve been doing very little piano playing in the band at all! More often I’m singing lead or harmonies, playing the flute or even playing the bass guitar! I’m getting one-on-one acoustic guitar lessons each week and practice for at least 30 mins each day. My teacher is a really amazing guitarist and man of God and it’s such a privilege to learn from him. After just three short lessons I feel like I have a much better understanding of the guitar and I have left my lessons with my head hurting from all the amazing new things I’ve been learning! So while it is a little different to not be playing much of my ‘main’ instrument, God has shown me that this is a season for me to grow in areas that I’m not that strong. From this I’ll become a more skilled musician overall and thus more equipped to lead worship in a way that glorifies God and write songs that allow people to really enter into God’s presence.

My band again - after a bonding time at the park :)

In closing, I am having the time of my life and really enjoying every moment of this season, even the really hard times. I think I cry on a near daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day! So while I am being stretched, I am also being refined and I know that God is doing something very special in my life during this time. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me over the next eight weeks! Thank you so much for partnering with me during this very amazing time of my life. I really value your love and prayers so much; they carry me through the challenging times. I also really appreciate all those of you who have supported me financially, as I would not be able to be here without you. May God pour out His blessing and favour on you and may you experience intimacy with Him on a whole new level today and continuing deeper forever.

Much love in Christ,        Sarah

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